The Handyman Letter - Sample Issue

This is a hustle-bustle time of year for contractors here in New England. The winter chill is nearly gone (hey, this isnt Phoenix!), the forests are again bright green and home projects are sprouting like daffodils. It looks like another rainy summer, so sunny days are all the more valuable. Like honey bees, the handymen are busy busy BUSY!

As the saying goes, a good handyman is hard to find! And when you find one who clicks, you wish you could lock him in the basement to have around when needed, like a fine wine. For many of my customers, were their pockets deep enough theyd have me on retainer or set up spare room for me in kids wing. There is a certain excitement in having a man around who can do things beyond bringing home a six-figure paycheck, programming the TIVO or hand-washing the Beamer. Though many of my clients live in homes that some might call castles, for want of a handyman life is less sweet.

Even though my three daughters all have a discerning eye, fatherly concern makes me wonder just what type of man should they marry? They are all independent young women who are not going to take any guff from some mumbling, knuckle-dragging endomorph. They will demand sensitivity, concern, attentiveness and the desire to please from their mates . After all, theyre worth it!

Like a bolt from heaven, it struck me! As did their mother and grandmother, they should take the hight road and marry the handyman!

Stop laughing! There are as many well-to-do wives who go through the day drowning their sorrow in alcohol, Valium or Botox as there are wives of handymen who go shelf-less, toilet-less and paint-less. And, occasionally, cash-less!

One advantage to marrying the handyman is that you dont have to invite strange men into your home to fix things you already have a strange man living with you! And why pay someone to embalm an antique table or spatter paint on the rug when your faithful spouse will do it for no more than a beer, a pat on the head or a chance to use the remote control! That is, when he has the time between upgrading his computer, visiting Natural Handyman online, lawn mowing and helping the neighbors build their new party deck for a six-pack paycheck.

Of course, life with a handyman is not all straight pictures and tiled floors. He occasionally may need some attention and I dont mean leaving more lists around the house signed, Love, The Boss. Handymen can get depressed. Typically overwhelmed with work, they can retreat into themselves. You might find him fixing the same door knob over and over. Or playing computer games. Or straining the kitty litter with your favorite colander to save every last precious grain!

There is another side to this story. As the saying goes, you dont always have to marry the chicken to get the eggs. Handymen can play the role of surrogate spouse for single or divorced person (with the purest of motives, of course). For example, one of my previously married ladies once told me that a handyman is like having a husband without the baggage! Another said that the best thing about having a handyman is that hell do what you want, then you pay him and hell go away! Her eyes glimmered unmercifully when she softly repeated, Go away. And then there was the lady who called me her honey-do man. You know Honey, do this! or Honey, do that!

Perhaps the most embarrassing was the customer who referred to me as her house husband. Needless to say it was an uncomfortable moment for both me and her real husband when she made this declaration in a room full of visiting relatives. Some introduction to the family. Gulp!

Marry the handyman? Why not! If nothing else, you hopefully wont have to patiently wait for him to call you back. cause youll be at the top of his list!

(P.S. My wife, soulmate and editor suggested I add For Women Only! to the title of this message. I did consider it, since the piece is from my male perspective. But with growing the number of women joining the handyman profession, it would be unfair to dash some guys dream of marrying a loving, devoted and fully accredited handywoman!)

==== Find a QUALITY HANDYMAN Of Your Very Own!! ===

Our nationwide NATURAL HANDYMAN NETWORK reaches thousands of cities and towns from sea to shining sea even Hawaii! (Were still trying for those Alaskan handymen!) Just think of it! You own devoted and skilled handyman ready, willing and able to help you with those pesky home repair chores!

Visit us today at http://www.naturalhandyman.com/network

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2) BACK AT YA.. in appreciation for media citations or reciprocal links

FARZIN ROCK STONE is a leading manufacturer, supplier and exporter of a full range of Iranian natural stones, travertine, marble, granite and onyx with very competitive prices.
http://www.rockstone.biz

With over 17 years carpet cleaning experience, HEWS CARPET CARE has been providing carpet cleaning and upholstery cleaning services to the Virginia, Maryland, and Washington, D.C. area since 1985.
http://www.hewscarpetcare.com

BARSTOOLS&BARSTOOLS has an amazing variety of barstools for any possible situation. They offer commercial quality, fully customizable bar stools & chairs, made from the finest imported woods, toughest metals, & most attractive textures and colors.
http://www.bar-stools-barstools.com

TROYS PLACE is the personal site of J. Troy Young, one of the little guys. He was nice enough to list us in his directory of home repair sites.
http://www.geocities.com/troy1of2/fixit.html

Want to LINK UP with the NATURAL HANDYMAN?
We REALLY appreciate links to our site you might even get your site mentioned here! Click below for more information
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/linkmeister.html

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3) Sweepstakes Central

NEW CONTEST
With over 20,000 products and convenient searching by company or style, LAMPS-LIGHTING.COM gives the discriminating buyer both high quality and enormous variety in exterior and interior lighting fixtures! Best of all, they have offered $50.00 gift certificates to two lucky winners in our latest contest, with no additional shipping charges!

WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT
Thanks to all who entered our HANDYMAN BUSINESS CD GIVEAWAY! The winners are:
K. Diehl of Holley, NY
T. Bonn of Portland, OR
C. McCann of Staunton, IL
M. Doblo of Flower Mound, TX
D. Mosier of Bloomington, IL

And, of course, our appreciation to HANDYMAN BUSINESS for sponsoring it! If youd like to learn how to run a successful handyman business of your own, visit their site at:
http://www.handyman-business.com

TWO CONTESTS CLOSED ADEIU!
We had not one but two contests close on June 1
The CabinetPro from E-Z Spread N Lift and World of Treasures contests are over! Winners of both these contests will be announced in a future newsletter once all winners are confirmed!

OTHER CURRENT CONTESTS
(1) Win a copy of the popular do-it yourself guide DARE TO REPAIR by Julie Sussman and Stephanie Glakas-Tenet (ends 10/1/04)
(2) Win copies of WIRING SIMPLIFIED and PRACTICAL ELECTRICAL WIRING from PARK PUBLISHING (ends 8/1/04)
(3) Win an EZ-LIFT one-man cabinet installation tool from E-Z SPREADNLIFT (ends 7/1/04)
(4) Win a CLEAN-UP CREW from GEL GLOSS (ends 12/1/04)
(5) Win a BAR KEEPERS FRIEND TOTE, an in-the-cabinet storage basket filled with Bar Keepers most popular products (ends 9/1/04)

To enter any of our contests follow this link:
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/contest

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4) NEWS FROM THE BASEMENT ANNEX

HOW DOES YOUR HOME LOOK TO VISITORS? You may not care unless youre trying to sell it! Here are some tips from Gail McCauley of the Paint Quality Institute on using paint and color to prepare your home for sale!
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/iip/infpai/pqi-may04.shtm

SAFETY AND COOKING TIPS FOR OUTDOOR GRILLS
No we arent going to lecture you on the nutritional evils of hot dogs, hamburgers and fat-laden sausages! NH isnt that hypocritical. Rather, this article from the Propane Council offers cooking tips and safety concerns that both novice and pro barbequers should take to heart!
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/iip/infgasgrill/infgasgrillsafetytips.shtm

HISTORY OF GARAGE DOORS
A lighthearted, interesting article on those tricky doors we (and our cars) take for granted till they stop working!
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/iip/infgar/infgar1h.shtm

USING COLORANT TO RESTORE TILE GROUT
You can make the most God-awful grout look brand new with the latest epoxy grout colorants. And getting professional results is easier than you might think! (Though, alas, not easier on the knees!)
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/iip/infxtra/infgroutcolorant.shtm

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5) Q&A WITH OUR READERS...

Dear NH,

I have an old vent hood that could use a fresh coat of paint. It has been cleaned many times with strong cleaners and is bare metal in parts. I have looked up heat resistant paints and they all are black. I need white. Any suggestions?

MB in Atlanta, GA

MB,

So youre not trying for a Goth look in your kitchen! Okay, clored high-temp paints do exist youre just looking in the wrong place!

Most hardware store heat-resistant paints are meant for wood stoves and stove pipe, hence the domination of black. The place to look is an automotive parts store. Engine block paints are very heat resistant more than anything your stovetop can produce outside of a full-blown grease fire!

One company that manufactures high heat spray paints is Dupli-Color. Their spray paints can take up to 500 degrees F. and are available in 36 colors, including white and. black! Heres a link to their site:
http://www.dupli-color.com

These paints do not require a prime coat, so you dont have to worry about the bare metal. Just have the surface squeaky-clean and lightly sanded for the best paint adhesion.

Frankly, I dont know if there is really any advantage to using high temperature paint over regular solvent-based spray paints for range hoods, since the temperatures never get any hotter than boiling water, which normal spray paints can easily handle. However, there is no reason not to, either!

Dear NH,

What is the difference between a left hand and right hand entry lockset? We bought a fancy Schlage lockset (with a lever on the inside instead of a knob) for our front door. After my husband opened the box, he saw that the instructions had the fancy pull handle on the inside and the lever on the outside backwards! THEN he read the box and saw that it was the wrong lock for our door! Men! Anyway, can he still install it, or do we have to return it? Please bail us out I hate making extra trips to the home store!

BE from Tampa, FL

BE,

You should be able to use the lock on your door. Most locks today are user-friendly and most are also ambidextrous. However, with lever-style handles there is a right and left way to install them. Each manufacturer has its own curve to the levers.

Though the position of the curve is not really important from a functional standpoint, if a number of the lever locks are near each other, its aesthetically important that the curve be the same for all the locks. Thus, you would typically purchase locks matching the hand of your door. (I posted an article on door hand a few months ago in our articles area).

In your particular case, if the front door is NOT near any other locksets, you can decide yourself whether you care about the curve of the lever. If not, install away!!

Dear NH,

I just had a whole house exhaust fan installed in the attic of my new home. The fan has louvers on the outside but no screening on the inside. What will stop bats or birds from entering my attic? The louvers don't seem to shut tightly when the fan is off. Can I install screening any way to stop bats or birds from coming into my attic?

AD from Corinth, NY

You probably have nothing to worry about. Bats and birds are not going to try and open the louvers to get in. I have yet to hear of any vermin entering through attic fan louvers provided they fully close when the fan is off. Granted, fan louvers dont always close air-tight but they would have to be seriously agape to entice a flying animal or adventurous squirrel to enter.

And NOTHING is going to be able to fly into the attic when the fan is on... the wind velocity is too high! However, if the louvers stick in the open position, you might find helicopters landing in your attic! So it's not a bad idea to check them occasionally (from the outside, if it's more convenient).

You could probably install screening, but there are potential problems (which is why no standard installation includes screening). First, installing a screen would probably require you to remove the fan. Not too hard, but a job nonetheless. Depending on the mount, you might have to move the fan further inwards so that the fan and the louvers don't touch the screen. This might require some framing work.

Secondly, the screen would become blocked fairly quickly with debris (those attic fans move lots of dust and other airborne stuff! This would dramatically lower the efficiency of your fan. Also, cleaning the screen might require removing the fan again. No fun.

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6) LINKMEISTERS CORNER

VALUBUILD PANEL HOMES CORPORATIONs prefabricated homes feature structural insulated panels and are suitable for do-it-yourself assembly. Their panelized homes use superior materials and meet or exceed all local, state and federal codes, even surpassing the quality of many manufactured and "stick-built" homes.
http://www.valubuild.com

VENT-A-HOOD was the original manufacturer of kitchen and commercial vent hoods. Started in 1937, they sold their products door-to-door as their reputation grew. Their products are not inexpensive, but are among the best in the business! If you want beautiful, efficient and whisper-quiet ventilation over your cooktop, this is the first site to visit!
http://www.ventahood.com

KATAHDIN CEDAR LOG HOMES features log cabins, log homes, log houses, manufactured building kits, designs & log home plans. A dealer & manufacturer of quality log homes, buildings, lodges, cabins, luxury homes, vacation chalets & timber frame homes. Build your own home with their Do It Yourself Kits
http://www.log-homes-usa.com

We REALLY appreciate links to our site. We also accept suggestions of quality websites we may have missed! Click below to suggest a link or for more information
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/linkmeister.html

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7) PASS THE HAMMER, WOULD YA? ... NHS READERS SPEAK OUT

Dear NH,

Nice Mothers Day letter! I, too, was adopted. My adoptive father was raised by the nuns out in Port Jefferson when his parents died when he was 3 yrs. old. Nobody seemed to want to adopt my dad, being he had polio.

Anyway, he was taken in by a foster family at 11 after he recovered from the polio. He later served in Korea. Then in the 60's, I came around. My adoptive mom couldn't have kids. After that, in the latter part of '66, my parents got a phone call that there were twin girls available through the normal adoption method in Florida. I was what you'd call an "under the table/black market" baby... totally legal (I think) but circumventing the normal adoption route. But my parents had little money, so they could not afford for me to have siblings. I was raised an only child.

I look back sometimes and wonder why my mother gave me up? I am sure that you do, too. I've signed on to all those adoption sites for a possible reunion, but no avail. I do know her name, where and when I was born. I believe she was a military "brat".....(from either the USVI or Panama Canal Zone) but so far no contact. However, every Mothers Day as we all sit down to dinner and my adopted mom is at my side, I salute my birth mother for her brave decision years ago, and more importantly, for providing me LIFE.

Dear J,

Perhaps the best gift a parent can give their adoptive child is to never tell them they are adopted. There is a certain stress on the child (and then the adult) that cant quite be understood by children living with their natural parents. Im not one of those people who thinks that we should know all some secrets are best left secret!

However, with todays adoptions regularly occurring across racial and national lines, such secrecy is impossible. Personally, I found out from my bratty big-mouth cousin, who overheard the adults talking and blurted out the secret to be cruel in the midst of a typical cousinly argument. I played it cool (what else could I do I was only 12 years old) but to the day they died my parents and I never discussed any of the details of the adoption or what they knew about my birth parents.

Did I ever want to know who they were? Honestly, only once. I was emotionally stressed at the time. In 20/20 hindsight, I think my quest for knowledge was a crutch or a quest for a fantasy family.

Financial, not emotional, issues stopped my search. Now, even with the relatively inexpensive resources available via the Internet, I have decided to not pursue my adoption any further. My life is happy, full and I dont need the complications that such a reunion might bring.

However, I (as you) salute my mother (and the nuns at St. Agnes) for letting me live.

And giving me the chance to make something of that life.

Dear NH,

Your webpage at:
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/iip/infattfan/infattfan2a.shtm

shows a picture of a gable mounted belt driven whole house fan. Can you tell me the manufacturer of the one pictured? And or tell me where to find gable mounted belt driven whole house fans.

PS from S. Burlington, VT

PS,

The fan pictured unfortunately did not have any manufacturer information on it. Interestingly enough, it was originally mounted on the attic floor, but produced so much noise in the hallway that the owner wanted it moved to an outside wall. I was initially skeptical about the improvement in noise, but the results were excellent! Very little noise is heard except for the whoosh of air and some muffled low-frequency noise in the bedroom directly beneath the fan.

Regarding getting a similar whole-house fan for yourself, I would suggest visiting the Nutone website. Most people think of Nutone as a manufacturer of bathroom ventilation fans, but they have a kicking assortment of whole house fans... both direct drive and belt drive!

Your interest in belt-drive is well founded. Belt-drive fans use much more powerful motors, so the manufacturer can angle the fan blades to move LOTS more air than direct-drive units. Heres a link to the page on the Nutone site:

http://www.nutone.com/product-category.asp?CategoryID=10017

Good luck with your quest!

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8) FEATURED IN THE NATURAL HANDYMAN BOOKSHOP...

The Three Most Costly Mistakes You Can Make When Building Your Log Home
by David Leach

Its always better to learn from someone elses mistakes. A veteran of 20 years in the log home industry, David lays bare the errors he made that cost him his log home dream and how to avoid them yourself! A must read E-book for log home aficionados and wannabes alike!

See this and other fine books in our BOOKSHOP at:
http://www.naturalhandyman.com/bookshop