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Bonehead Of The Day Award
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Category:
Humor - PG rated
Frequency:
Every Day
Format:
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Language:
English
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Sample Issue:


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THE BONEHEAD AWARDS
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Today we award four bonehead awards!

Peddling And Spinning

Bonehead award one goes to British Conservative leader David Cameron who rides a bicycle to work every day to increase environmental awareness and who is followed by a car carrying his briefcase, apparently to increase political awareness.

The Guardian (UK) 2-May-06
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/conservatives/story/0,,1765729,00.html

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Drowning In Incompetence

"A FUMING mum [in the UK] has been told a leak in her roof can't be repaired until it RAINS in the right direction."

Workman say they can't pinpoint the location of the leaky roof until it rains the right way. In the meantime Lindsey Osbourne of the UK has to live in a damp bedroom.

"It's ridiculous. I don't know why they can't just use a hosepipe." said an all wet Mrs. Lindsey.

UK People 7-May-06
http://www.people.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=17043136%26method=full%26siteid=93463%26headline=drippy%2dway%2dto%2dfix%2da%2dleak%2d-name_page.html
or http://tinyurl.com/re6wb

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Drowning in Incompetence, Part II

A water leak that gushed through a UK Hamlet for 16 years, causing extreme icy road conditions and wasted millions of gallons of water, was finally stopped when a farmer turned it off at the faucet.

Water board officials at Hamerton Cambs insisted for 16 years that it was a natural spring.

"If that is a natural spring then it must be the only one with a tap on it,' said the farmer.

The UK Sun 8-May-06
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006210059,00.html

------------------------------------------------

You Win, You Lose

We have to give recognition to the eBay bidder who ended up paying $104 for a $100 Shell Oil gift card ($102.50 + $1.50).

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9515777951&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&rd=1

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HELP! I'M TRAPPED IN THE EVIL PARALLEL UNIVERSE!
*************************************************

In the Evil Parallel Universe alcohol fuels the cars.

Charleston, West Virginia's first daytime DUI (Driving Under the Influence) checkpoint had to close early because of too many arrests.

"Police initially planned to continue the checkpoint until midnight, but the surprising number of arrests stretched their 12-officer patrol thin, forcing them to close early."

Scared yet?

The Daily Mail (Charleston, W. Virginia) 1-May-06
http://www.dailymail.com/news/News/2006050110/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make new friends at the Bonehead Of The Day Award message board.
http://pub20.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?usernum=1695888081&cpv=1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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WEIRD EXTRAS
Stories without comment (well, sometimes)
*************************************************

Throw away that airline ticket stub and you throw away your identity

"It [the ticket stub] said Broer had flown from Brussels to London on March 15 at 7.10am on BA flight 389 in seat 03C. It also told me he was a "Gold" standard passenger and gave me his frequent-flyer number."

"...this stub would enable me to access Broer's personal information, including his passport number, date of birth and nationality. It would
provide the building blocks for stealing his identity, ruining his future travel plans - and even allow me to fake his passport."

The Guardian (UK) 3-May-06
http://www.guardian.co.uk/idcards/story/0,,1766266,00.html

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***********************************************
GENES VS. JEANS
WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN?
***********************************************

I'm B.K. Henrie, and this is one of the major differences between men and women: Women sweep, men hose

Send your entry to GenesOrJeans@BoneheadOfTheDayAward.com or JeansOrGenes@BoneheadOfTheDayAward.com

Provide us with your "name" exactly as you'd like it to appear with your entry, should your entry be used, AND provide your city and country information. We will pick our favorites and use them in a subsequent issue.

**********************************************************
FROM THE "MEN" WHO CAN'T BUY GIFTS" FILES
**********************************************************

This year for my birthday (the week after Easter), my boyfriend bought me two stuffed Easter bunnies. One large pink rabbit and another that
sang and danced "Happy Easter". I'm sure he got both of these on clearance at K-Mart after Easter. As if the stunned look on my face didn't say enough, these two gifts were followed by a third present - a vibrator.

Well I was pretty much speechless and an icy silence set in. He seemed surprised that I didn't like his choice of presents. Then he became defensive telling me he was so busy that he didn't have time to shop. He informed me that he "hated my birthday" because he couldn't do anything right. I reminded him that my birthday was the same day as his daughter's and he had 365 days to prepare for it. He said he'd buy me another present. I asked him to leave.

-- Romona

--> Did your beau give you a gift we should all know about?
Send me an Email to Clueless@BoneheadOfTheDayAward.com

Note, there is a sizable queue of stories so you may not see your story printed for awhile.

***************************************************
FROM THE "LOOK WHAT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH" FILES
***************************************************

Many years ago I worked in the parts department of a heavy duty truck dealership. Certain parts had to be special ordered from overseas and in addition to being very expensive often took several weeks to arrive once ordered. All special order parts were to be paid for in advance and were nonreturnable.

An old man came in one day and requested something we did not carry in stock. I explained our policy on special orders to him and asked for certain specific information on his vehicle to insure he received the correct piece. He became quite indignant and informed me "they are all the same." I told him several times that they were not "all the same" and could not guarantee he would get the right part without supplying me the serial number of his truck. He would have none of this and taking the parts catalog from my hands, punched his finger down on a part number on the list of several possible assemblies available. He demanded that I order it for him rush delivery.

I did and as expected when the part arrived it was the wrong one. He was livid. He called me every name he could lay his tongue to and screamed that he could not understand how I could get the wrong part when they were "all the same!" He demanded that I get the right one on the spot.

I picked up the offending part, turned three times in a circle and placed the same item back on the counter in front of him. Looking him right in the face while trying my best not to snicker I said "here you go, this one will fit. You know these really are all the same." He stormed out but returned a few hours later with the truck serial number and finally got the correct part.

What should have taken 2 or 3 weeks took nearly two months and cost him twice as much as it should have.

Remo

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